Journal_6_childs

Raising a child with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is not an easy job. I am a single parent and I have a job that I work full time. I could not do this alone. I also have a wonderful mother that gives her all to help in the raising of my son.

Isaac is now 13 and has been in special needs schools most of his life. He was mainstreamed in the very beginning but it became very clear that he didn't belong there. He was moved to Special Ed and has been there ever since. I have gone to many IEP's regarding my son and none of them have been easy. I had to learn the hard way about my rights as the parent of a special needs child.

One of the first schools Isaac was in was nearby my mom's house. Notes started coming home about Isaac crawling through a hole in the fence at school. After about the 3rd note, I asked my mom to go up there and ask them to show her the hole in the fence. They took her out to the playground and showed her an opening in the fence big enough to drive a vehicle through. They said this was a safety issue. Then comes the big IEP. There they tell me that due to the safety issues, he must be transferred to another school. They also had another one of these safety issues to inform me of. Isaac had apparently found a lighter on the school playground and took it into the restroom and tried to light the roll of toilet paper on fire. I was shocked to hear this. I rebutted this with, I have been a smoker since before Isaac was born and never had he had the slightest interest in my cigarettes, lighters or ashtrays. I also asked if there were older kids on the playground that might have enticed him into doing something like this. They had no answer for me except that kids of all ages are on the playground at the same time. These incidents helped me to realize that I was my son's best advocate.

From there, he went to another school that was in another county. He attended that school for 3 years. The last year, when the IEP was held, it was brought to my attention that they had incident reports on Isaac. I asked why I wasn't informed of this and where were my copies as I had no knowledge of any of this. Their reply was that most parents don't want to know. I informed them that I am not like most parents and I DO want to know. I received some of the reports via the USPS but they didn't want to take the time to dig them all up as they had been archived. Once again, it was time to advocate for my son. During the IEP, a gentlemen representing the school district, insisted that I sign the IEP. I knew my rights and said no. He kept on and on and then started on my mom about getting me to sign. I held to my ground and didn't sign until a portion of the psych report had been modified.

Approximately 3 months ago, Isaac was moved to a new school. As I mentioned in the Journal entry dated June 28, 2003, things have not gone well. This school is about 1/4 of a mile from where I work. When placing him there, I thought this would be good that I was nearby. In the 3 months that he has attended this school, it seems as though I have been up at the school almost every other week. To me, this seems unusual.

When I enrolled him, they wanted a list of meds that he takes. I gave that to them from memory and also let them know that his med list was ever changing. Later, they asked me for a current med list and I obtained one from the doctor and sent it to the school. A couple of days ago, I am called up there, again, for another meeting. They tell me that they don't have a current med list. I reply that I had given them one a month ago. They said, oh that's right. We just haven't had time to input it into the computer.

A little more than a month ago, I get a call from the Alta worker that she would like to go to the school and observe. I call the school and they say I have to fill out a permission slip. I had them fax me one and it was returned the next day. Do you believe that the Alta worker still hasn't been to the school to observe because they have told her that they don't have a permission slip from me? Once again, I find myself needing to call an IEP and he's only been there 3 months.

What I have related to you here is one particular thing that has happened at each of the 3 schools that Isaac has attended over the past few years. These things, or incidents, happen everywhere to most all special needs children. I, as a parent, need to know what my rights are regarding issues that occur at school. In the beginning, when Isaac was little, I knew nothing but as I mentioned earlier, I had to find out the hard way. I have never been a person to stand idly by, no matter what the situation. My son has rights and he may not be capable of knowing what they are but I as a parent must know. There are also a lot of parents that would rather turn the other way and choose not to see this kind of thing. I am not one of them. If you have read this web site and followed it from the beginning, you will know that I am a survivor and so is my son. I will not allow undue advantage to be taken of a person that is not capable of standing up for themselves. I must do for my son what he cannot do for himself. I am my son's best advocate.